That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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