Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
