I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
