So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
