I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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