I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
