If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dicks are not precious.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize