We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
