if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
