I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
