If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
