Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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