It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Two words: nipple clamps
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