I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
