On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
