I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
