Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
