the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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