you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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