According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
