my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
