he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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