i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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