Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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