I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
