Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
