There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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