Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
home. puking in laundry basket.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
