He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
