Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize