I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
