We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
