I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
