Michael Bay diarrhea
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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