I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
