But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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