No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
