Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
