I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
