i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
