i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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