I think I died a long time ago.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
