Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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