i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
