apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
