So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
