the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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