Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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