Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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