oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
