i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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