out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
