I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
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All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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