Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
