This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I believe in your delicious
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I licked your asshole in confidence.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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