every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
These tits shall not be calmed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
