i don't like sucking hair
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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