hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
