make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
