NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
