suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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