the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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